Yknow, you cant please all the people all the time… and last night, all those people were at my show. – Mitch Hedberg
I love blackjack. But Im not addicted to gambling. Im addicted to sitting in a semi circle. – Mitch Hedberg

Yknow, you cant please all the people all the time… and last night, all those people were at my show. – Mitch Hedberg
I love blackjack. But Im not addicted to gambling. Im addicted to sitting in a semi circle. – Mitch Hedberg
Every time I go and shave, I assume theres someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, Im gonna go shave, too. – Mitch Hedberg
Id like to get four people who do cart wheels very good, and make a cart. – Mitch Hedberg