God writes a lot of comedy… the trouble is, hes stuck with so many bad actors who dont know how to play funny. – Garrison Keillor
Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average. – Garrison Keillor
It’s a shallow life that doesn’t give a person a few scars. – Garrison Keillor
The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose. – Garrison Keillor
Sometimes, comics will make the observation that its not jokes that are funny, its characters that are funny. And isnt that true! Thats why I always kill jokes. Im terrible at them, because I get the joke right, but I cant get the character right, and it just goes down like a lead balloon. – David Mitchell