The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot. – Dave Barry
What Women Want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to be trusted, and sometimes, just to be held. What Men Want: Tickets for the world series. – Dave Barry
Hobbies of any kind are boring except to people who have the same hobby. This is also true of religion, although you will not find me saying so in print. – Dave Barry
Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear. – Dave Barry