Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. – Dave Barry
Hobbies of any kind are boring except to people who have the same hobby. This is also true of religion, although you will not find me saying so in print. – Dave Barry
The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting. – Dave Barry
The Constitution of the United States of America, Article V, Section 1: There shall be a National Anthem containing incomprehensible words and a high note that normal humans cannot hit without risk of hernia. – Dave Barry
Who that knows the trail from Mill Valley to Bolinas, by way of Willow Camp, can ever forget the enchanting beauty of the panorama that unfolds before the vision? The tenderest tenderfoot forgets the toil of climbing in contemplation of its delights and surprises. – Eufina C. Tompkins, “Story of Two California Artists,” in Sunset, June 1904