It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity. – Dave Barry
The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl. – Dave Barry
The problem with winter sports is that – follow me closely here – they generally take place in winter. – Dave Barry
Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down. – Dave Barry
The trouble with tea is that originally it was quite a good drink. So a group of the most eminent British scientists put their heads together, and made complicated biological experiments to find a way of spoiling it. To the eternal glory of British science their labor bore fruit. – George Mikes