My wifes jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was. – Rodney Dangerfield
With my wife I dont get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to the best woman a man ever had. The waiter joined me. – Rodney Dangerfield
I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender. – Rodney Dangerfield
When I was born the doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, “Look, twins!” – Rodney Dangerfield
But you say, does it represent change? The change is that we are fighting an insurance industry that has killed health reform for generations. Theyre spending tens of millions of dollars right now to defeat this bill, and were on the doorstep of winning a great victory for the American people. – David Axelrod