A girl phoned me the other day and said… Come on over, theres nobody home. I went over. Nobody was home. – Rodney Dangerfield

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap. – Rodney Dangerfield
Its tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she wont drink from my glass. – Rodney Dangerfield
As much as I would love to be a person that goes to parties and has a couple of drinks and has a nice time, that doesnt work for me. Id just rather sit at home and read, or go out to dinner with someone, or talk to someone I love, or talk to somebody that makes me laugh. – Daniel Radcliffe
Random Quotes
Im probably the least flexible athlete youll find. When it comes to yoga, I cant get in the positions and I cant hold them. You have to be pretty flexible to do it. Once you get certain positions, you have to have the core strength to hold those positions. Its a pretty good workout. – Steve Blake