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Quote by Emo Philips
When I wake up in the morning, I just cant get started until Ive h

When I wake up in the morning, I just cant get started until Ive had that first, piping hot pot of coffee. Oh, Ive tried other enemas. – Emo Philips

Other quotes by Emo Philips

You dont appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life. – Emo Philips

Category:
good
Author
Emo Philips
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Women: You cant live with them, and you cant get them to dress up in a skimpy little Nazi costume and beat you with a warm squash or something. – Emo Philips

Category:
Women
Author
Emo Philips
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Other Quotes from
Morning
category

The sun has not caught me in bed in fifty years. – Thomas Jefferson

Category:
Morning

No human being believes that any other human being has a right to be in bed when he himself is up. – Robert Lynd

Category:
Morning

If there was no Black Sabbath, I could still possibly be a morning newspaper delivery boy. No fun. – Lars Ulrich

Category:
Morning

One thing that happens when youre pregnant is that as your stomach starts to stretch. It itches! So I have to keep my belly really lubricated. Every morning, theres a buttering ceremony after I get out of the shower. Its really like basting a turkey with body butter. – Padma Lakshmi

Category:
Morning

Random Quotes

Faith is the strength by which a shattered world shall emerge into the light. – Helen Keller

Category:
Faith

Beauty doesnt need ornaments. Softness cant bear the weight of ornaments. – Munshi Premchand

Category:
Beauty

Don’t let those who take advantage of your generosity stop you from being generous. – Author Unknown

Category:
Kindness

Friendships the privilege of private men for wretched greatness knows no blessing so substantial. – Nahum Tate

Category:
Friendship