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Quote by Emo Philips
When I wake up in the morning, I just cant get started until Ive h

When I wake up in the morning, I just cant get started until Ive had that first, piping hot pot of coffee. Oh, Ive tried other enemas. – Emo Philips

Other quotes by Emo Philips

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesnt work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me. – Emo Philips

Category:
Forgiveness
Author
Emo Philips
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I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men dont seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper. – Emo Philips

Category:
Men
Author
Emo Philips
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Other Quotes from
Morning
category

My joking answer to this question is that I leave a bowl of milk out on the back porch every night for the Idea Fairy. In the morning, the milk is gone and theres a brand-new shiny idea by the bowl. – Sarah Zettel

Category:
Morning

I had this temp receptionist job in New York, and I kind of hated it, and in the morning I would come out of the subway and just walk along the New York streets with all these people around me and kind of sing to myself. Like, Shes gonna make it! – Elizabeth Meriwether

Category:
Morning

In the morning on Sunday, a drum is sounded at about 8 oclock. – William Brewster

Category:
Morning

Sometimes in the morning, when its a good surf, I go out there, and I dont feel like its a bad world. – Kary Mullis

Category:
Morning

Random Quotes

College atheletes used to get a degree in bringing your pencil. – Ruby Wax

Category:
Graduation

Health care costs are eating the Defense Department alive. – Robert M. Gates

Category:
Health

Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Let the days own trouble be sufficient for the day. – Bible

Category:
Adversity

Different times need different types of leadership. – Park Geun-hye

Category:
Leadership