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Quote by Emo Philips
When I wake up in the morning, I just cant get started until Ive h

When I wake up in the morning, I just cant get started until Ive had that first, piping hot pot of coffee. Oh, Ive tried other enemas. – Emo Philips

Other quotes by Emo Philips

Probably the worst time in a persons life is when they have to kill a family member because they are the devil. But otherwise its been a pretty good day. – Emo Philips

Category:
Family
Author
Emo Philips
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He taught me never to smile, which helps me when I visit disaster sites. – Emo Philips

Category:
smile
Author
Emo Philips
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Women: You cant live with them, and you cant get them to dress up in a skimpy little Nazi costume and beat you with a warm squash or something. – Emo Philips

Category:
Women
Author
Emo Philips
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Other Quotes from
Morning
category

When I was twelve, I went hunting with my father and we shot a bird. He was laying there and something struck me. Why do we call this fun to kill this creature who was as happy as I was when I woke up this morning. – Marv Levy

Category:
Morning

I mean, if you have to wake up in the morning to be validated by the editorial page of the New York Times, you got a pretty sorry existence. – Karl Rove

Category:
Morning

I wake up laughing. Yes, I wake up in the morning and there I am just laughing my head off. – Bruce Willis

Category:
Morning

My wife gets pampered pretty well. Shes had me trained since she was pregnant, when I started making her oatmeal with fresh berries every morning. – Michael Weatherly

Category:
Morning

Random Quotes

To give thanks in solitude is enough. Thanksgiving has wings and goes where it must go. Your prayer knows much more about it than you do. – Victor Hugo

Category:
thanksgiving

We are not hungry… Why foist this food upon us? We dont want to be choked. We have enough. – Robert Mugabe

Category:
Food

Comedy is a tragedy plus time. – Carol Burnett

Category:
Humor

I think sometimes I guess you see records, say you want to get there and use that as motivation. In a way, its kind of cool if there is a possibility to rewrite history and be up there with the greats of Olympic history. – Michael Phelps

Category:
cool