When I wake up in the morning, I just cant get started until Ive had that first, piping hot pot of coffee. Oh, Ive tried other enemas. – Emo Philips
Some mornings, its just not worth chewing through the leather straps. – Emo Philips
How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand. – Emo Philips
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men dont seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper. – Emo Philips
Just the actual physical ability to hold four instruments simultaneously and do some of the things that Vivien was able to do is mind blowing to any surgeon. He never went to medical school and he became one of the great teachers of medicine himself, people are just amazed. – Mary Stuart Masterson