Quote by Emo Philips
When I wake up in the morning, I just cant get started until Ive h

When I wake up in the morning, I just cant get started until Ive had that first, piping hot pot of coffee. Oh, Ive tried other enemas. – Emo Philips

Other quotes by Emo Philips

Probably the worst time in a persons life is when they have to kill a family member because they are the devil. But otherwise its been a pretty good day. – Emo Philips

Category:
Family
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I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men dont seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper. – Emo Philips

Category:
Men
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You dont appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life. – Emo Philips

Category:
good
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Other Quotes from
Morning
category

I was in Washington, D.C., on the morning show, by the time I was 18, programming a station by 19, No. 1 in the mornings. I think I was making, I dont know, a quarter of a million dollars by the time I was 25. – Glenn Beck

Category:
Morning

The 6th of August in the morning we saw an opening in the land and we ran into it, and anchored in 7 and a half fathom water, 2 miles from the shore, clean sand. – William Dampier

Category:
Morning

I would bend over backward to be back on Greys. Any day, Ill choose lying in bed with Katherine Heigl looking over me over getting thrown against walls by supernatural persons at 5 in the morning. – Jeffrey Dean Morgan

Category:
Morning

Thats what keeps me up at three in the morning: Whos looking at reviews of Cabin Boy right now? – Chris Elliott

Category:
Morning

Random Quotes

I cry, sometimes, because Im not 20 years younger, and Im not healthy. But if I were, I would even sacrifice my writing to enter politics. – Oriana Fallaci

Category:
Politics

People come in and out of our lives, and the true test of friendship is whether you can pick back up right where you left off the last time you saw each other. – Lisa See

Category:
Friendship

After the knowledge of, and obedience to, the will of God, the next aim must be to know something of His attributes of wisdom, power, and goodness as evidenced by His handiwork. – James Prescott Joule

Category:
Knowledge

Heroes are those who can somehow resist the power of the situation and act out of noble motives, or behave in ways that do not demean others when they easily can. – Philip Zimbardo

Category:
power