Probably the worst time in a persons life is when they have to kill a family member because they are the devil. But otherwise its been a pretty good day. – Emo Philips
I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator. – Emo Philips
Women: You cant live with them, and you cant get them to dress up in a skimpy little Nazi costume and beat you with a warm squash or something. – Emo Philips
How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand. – Emo Philips
If you have issues with family, friends, and people at work, try and solve these issues head on so you can move on and concentrate on having the life you want. Think about what you can do so that you are happy with yourself – for instance, eating right to feel great and energetic. – Heidi Klum