He taught me never to smile, which helps me when I visit disaster sites. – Emo Philips
Some mornings, its just not worth chewing through the leather straps. – Emo Philips

He taught me never to smile, which helps me when I visit disaster sites. – Emo Philips
Some mornings, its just not worth chewing through the leather straps. – Emo Philips
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesnt work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me. – Emo Philips
When I wake up in the morning, I just cant get started until Ive had that first, piping hot pot of coffee. Oh, Ive tried other enemas. – Emo Philips
A game one of my sisters will play with me in my first year of being alive is called Good Baby, Bad Baby. This consists of being told I am a good baby until I smile and laugh, then being told I am a bad baby until I burst into tears. This training will stand me in good stead all through my life. – Ali Smith