My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine. – Adam Carolla
I didnt have any success in show business until I was 30 to 31 years of age. – Adam Carolla
When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. Those dads that go off to Florida and start a new life, I couldnt imagine that: seeing my kid once every Christmas, every three years. If Im gone for six days it feels like too much. – Adam Carolla
Maybe Im delusional but Im usually funny. Its not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average. – Adam Carolla