My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine. – Adam Carolla
Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor. – Adam Carolla
If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, theyd be off TV. Theyre not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think wed know who she was? – Adam Carolla
When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. Those dads that go off to Florida and start a new life, I couldnt imagine that: seeing my kid once every Christmas, every three years. If Im gone for six days it feels like too much. – Adam Carolla