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I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass. - Da

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass. – David Lee Roth

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Sometimes I think what I write is funny in its quiet way. – Doris Lessing

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I used to be Snow White, but I drifted. – Mae West

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Comedys so subjective, and if someone comes to watch, doesnt get it, doesnt find it funny, then fine. – Johnny Vegas

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My parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles were all funny, and I felt that energy, that delivery, that timing, that sarcasm. All that stuff seeped into my brain. – Jeff Ross

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Government itself is founded upon the great doctrine of the consent of the governed, and has its cornerstone in the memorable principle that men are endowed with inalienable rights. – Leland Stanford

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