I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side. – Steven Wright
I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like Im the only one moving. – Steven Wright

I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side. – Steven Wright
I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like Im the only one moving. – Steven Wright
I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time. – Steven Wright
I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window. – Steven Wright