I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side. – Steven Wright
When I have a kid, I want to put him in one of those strollers for twins, then run around the mall looking frantic. – Steven Wright

I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side. – Steven Wright
When I have a kid, I want to put him in one of those strollers for twins, then run around the mall looking frantic. – Steven Wright
I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window. – Steven Wright
Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. – Steven Wright