Today, one year after their divorce, Pamela and Tommy Lee announced theyre getting back together. You know what that means? Theres still hope for Ike and Tina Turner. – Jay Leno
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Major league baseball has asked its players to stop tossing baseballs into the stands during games, because they say fans fight over them and they get hurt. In fact, the Florida Marlins said thats why they never hit any home runs. Its a safety issue. – Jay Leno
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Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach a man to create an artificial shortage of fish and he will eat steak. – Jay Leno
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My favorite fruit is grapes. Because with grapes, you always get another chance. Cause, you know, if you have a crappy apple or a peach, youre stuck with that crappy piece of fruit. But if you have a crappy grape, no problem – just move on to the next. Grapes: The Fruit of Hope. – Demetri Martin
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