Dont forget Mothers Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dads Third Wife Day. – Jay Leno
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach a man to create an artificial shortage of fish and he will eat steak. – Jay Leno
Today is Valentines Day – or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day! – Jay Leno
Major league baseball has asked its players to stop tossing baseballs into the stands during games, because they say fans fight over them and they get hurt. In fact, the Florida Marlins said thats why they never hit any home runs. Its a safety issue. – Jay Leno