Dont forget Mothers Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dads Third Wife Day. – Jay Leno
Major league baseball has asked its players to stop tossing baseballs into the stands during games, because they say fans fight over them and they get hurt. In fact, the Florida Marlins said thats why they never hit any home runs. Its a safety issue. – Jay Leno
CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her because shes strong and successful. Men admire her because she allows her husband to cheat and get away with it. – Jay Leno
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach a man to create an artificial shortage of fish and he will eat steak. – Jay Leno
Although we have, in theory, abolished human slavery, recognized womens rights, and stopped child labor, we continue to enslave other species who, if we simply pay attention, show quite clearly that they experience parental love, pain, and the desire for freedom, just as we do. – Ingrid Newkirk