Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach a man to create an artificial shortage of fish and he will eat steak. – Jay Leno
Dont forget Mothers Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dads Third Wife Day. – Jay Leno
Al Jazeera aired a new tape of Osama bin Laden. It was the usual stuff, he called Bush evil, the Great Satan, called him a war monger. Basically, the same thing you heard at last nights Democratic debate. – Jay Leno
The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver. – Jay Leno
We didnt have television until I was about eight years old, so it was either the movies or radio. A lot of radio drama. That was our television, you know. We had to use our imagination. So it was really those two things, and the comics, that I immersed myself in as a child. – Jessica Hagedorn