I used to be good with kids, but as I get older, Im grumpy and terrible with them. As for doing a gig at a 6-year olds birthday party, you couldnt pay me enough. – Johnny Vegas
You always hear people saying, I hope Im not turning into my dad, but Id be honoured if I became half as decent a bloke as he is. – Johnny Vegas
The cheese board is my big treat at Christmas that I have to deny myself during the rest of year. – Johnny Vegas
It is easy for me to love myself, but for ladies to do it is another question altogether. – Johnny Vegas
We advance in years somewhat in the manner of an invading army in a barren land; the age that we have reached, as the saying goes, we but hold with an outpost, and still keep open communications with the extreme rear and first beginnings of the march. – Robert Louis Stevenson, “Virginibus Puerisque II,” Virginibus Puerisque, 1881