I used to be good with kids, but as I get older, Im grumpy and terrible with them. As for doing a gig at a 6-year olds birthday party, you couldnt pay me enough. – Johnny Vegas
I trained to be a priest – started to. I went to seminary school when I was 11. I wanted to be a priest, but when they told me I could never have sex, not even on my birthday, I changed my mind. – Johnny Vegas
It is easy for me to love myself, but for ladies to do it is another question altogether. – Johnny Vegas
Ive spent lots of time in London, I studied in London, I like London. Its just not my home. – Johnny Vegas
We advance in years somewhat in the manner of an invading army in a barren land; the age that we have reached, as the saying goes, we but hold with an outpost, and still keep open communications with the extreme rear and first beginnings of the march. – Robert Louis Stevenson, “Virginibus Puerisque II,” Virginibus Puerisque, 1881