Theres no present. Theres only the immediate future and the recent past. – George Carlin
Scientists announced today that they have discovered a cure for apathy. However, they claim no one has shown the slightest interest in it. – George Carlin
The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but Im just not close enough to get the job done. – George Carlin
When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. Im sure it made the work seem that much more urgent. – George Carlin
If you want a future of shared prosperity, where the middle class is growing and poverty is declining, where the American Dream is alive and well, and where the United States remains the leading force for peace and prosperity in a highly competitive world, you should vote for Barack Obama. – William J. Clinton