Scientists announced today that they have discovered a cure for apathy. However, they claim no one has shown the slightest interest in it. – George Carlin
What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on? – George Carlin
When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. Im sure it made the work seem that much more urgent. – George Carlin
Some people see the cup as half empty. Some people see the cup as half full. I see the cup as too large. – George Carlin
The learned compute that seven hundred and seven millions of millions of vibrations have penetrated the eye before the eye can distinguish the tints of a violet. What philosophy can calculate the vibrations of the heart before it can distinguish the colours of love? – Pisistratus Caxton, What Will He Do With It?