There are two kinds of people in the world, those who believe there are two kinds of people in the world and those who dont. – Robert Benchley
Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other. – Robert Benchley
I know Im drinking myself to a slow death, but then Im in no hurry. – Robert Benchley
I must get out of these wet clothes and into a dry Martini. – Robert Benchley
These people have no religion, neither are they idolaters, but are a very gentle race, without the knowledge of any iniquity; they neither kill, nor steal, nor carry weapons… they have a knowledge that there is a God above, and are firmly persuaded that we have come from heaven. – Christopher Columbus