Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, its quite the opposite: a woman having large breasts makes men stupid. – Rita Rudner
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. – Rita Rudner
Buying something on sale is a very special feeling. In fact, the less I pay for something, the more it is worth to me. I have a dress that I paid so little for that I am afraid to wear it. I could spill something on it, and then how would I replace it for that amount of money? – Rita Rudner
My husband gave me a necklace. Its fake. I requested fake. Maybe Im paranoid, but in this day and age, I dont want something around my neck thats worth more than my head. – Rita Rudner
Im hungry for knowledge. The whole thing is to learn every day, to get brighter and brighter. Thats what this world is about. You look at someone like Gandhi, and he glowed. Martin Luther King glowed. Muhammad Ali glows. I think thats from being bright all the time, and trying to be brighter. – Jay-Z