We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations – were doing everything we can to keep our marriage together. – Rodney Dangerfield
I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest. – Rodney Dangerfield
My wifes jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was. – Rodney Dangerfield
At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he know he cant. – Rodney Dangerfield
Gay marriage has jumped out of the closet on to the front page. Everyone from the president of the U.S. to retired four-star general Colin Powell is embracing the issue, now supported by most Americans. Still, a few people, like former First Lady Laura Bush appear to be conflicted. – Kitty Kelley