Its tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she wont drink from my glass. – Rodney Dangerfield
This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me. – Rodney Dangerfield
At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he know he cant. – Rodney Dangerfield
My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend. – Rodney Dangerfield