Its tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she wont drink from my glass. – Rodney Dangerfield
With my wife I dont get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to the best woman a man ever had. The waiter joined me. – Rodney Dangerfield
My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home. – Rodney Dangerfield
In marriage there are no manners to keep up, and beneath the wildest accusations no real criticism. Each is familiar with that ancient child in the other who may erupt again…. We are not ridiculous to ourselves. We are ageless. That is the luxury of the wedding ring. – Enid Bagnold, Autobiography, 1969