The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes. – Dave Barry
Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting. – Dave Barry
I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated, so they can get into a good college that we cannot afford. – Dave Barry
What, exactly, is the Internet? Basically it is a global network exchanging digitized data in such a way that any computer, anywhere, that is equipped with a device called a “modem” can make a noise like a duck choking on a kazoo. – Dave Barry