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Quote by Jack Handey
If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you fr

If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn’t open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming. – Jack Handey

Other quotes by Jack Handey

Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but when I told that story around the campfire, nobody got scared. – Jack Handey

Category:
Environment
Author
Jack Handey
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What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you want to get drunk? – Jack Handey

Category:
Alcohol
Author
Jack Handey
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Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around the campfire and nobody got scared. – Jack Handey

Category:
Camping
Author
Jack Handey
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Other Quotes from
Skydiving
category

You know you’re a skydiver when you try to convince the flight attendant on a commercial flight that you really would be much more comfortable sitting on the floor. – Author Unknown

Category:
Skydiving

You know you’re a skydiver when you buy anything you calculate how many skydives it will cost. – Author Unknown

Category:
Skydiving

Jump pilots have an open door policy. – Author Unknown

Category:
Skydiving

Out of 10,000 feet of fall, always remember that the last half inch hurts the most. – Charles W. Purcell

Category:
Skydiving

Random Quotes

The public is wiser than the wisest critic. – George Bancroft

Category:
Public

Religion doesnt play any part in my life in terms of how I live my life. But I dont think Ive ever gone through a day in my life without hearing someone say the word Jew or saying it myself. – Larry David

Category:
Religion

Everyone should learn to do one thing supremely well because he likes it, and one thing supremely well because he detests it. – Brigham Young

Category:
Wise Words

Violet will be a good color for hair at just about the same time that brunette becomes a good color for flowers. – Fran Lebowitz

Category:
Hair