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Quote by Jack Handey
If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you fr

If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn’t open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming. – Jack Handey

Other quotes by Jack Handey

What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you want to get drunk? – Jack Handey

Category:
Alcohol
Author
Jack Handey
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Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but when I told that story around the campfire, nobody got scared. – Jack Handey

Category:
Environment
Author
Jack Handey
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Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around the campfire and nobody got scared. – Jack Handey

Category:
Camping
Author
Jack Handey
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Other Quotes from
Skydiving
category

Don’t be afraid of falling out of the plane, you are dressed for the occasion. – Kai Wolf

Category:
Skydiving

Minds are like parachutes — they only function when open. – Author Unknown

Category:
Skydiving

You know you’re a skydiver when you buy anything you calculate how many skydives it will cost. – Author Unknown

Category:
Skydiving

I feel the need to endanger myself every so often. – Tim Daly

Category:
Skydiving

Random Quotes

A proverb is the wisdom of many and the wit of one. – Lord John Russell

Category:
Wisdom

Only in grammar can you be more than perfect. – William Safire

Category:
Grammar

All we ask is to be let alone. – Jefferson Davis

Category:
alone

I guess because I had such a horrible life growing up, going from place to place not knowing what I was gonna do and ending up being homeless, there was a lot of pain and a lot of anger that was coming out through my guitar playing. – Dave Mustaine

Category:
Anger