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Quote by Jack Handey
If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you fr

If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn’t open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming. – Jack Handey

Other quotes by Jack Handey

As the evening sky faded from a salmon color to a sort of flint gray, I thought back to the salmon I caught that morning, and how gray he was, and how I named him Flint. – Jack Handey

Category:
Fishing
Author
Jack Handey
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Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around the campfire and nobody got scared. – Jack Handey

Category:
Camping
Author
Jack Handey
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What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you want to get drunk? – Jack Handey

Category:
Alcohol
Author
Jack Handey
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Other Quotes from
Skydiving
category

You know you’re a skydiver when you can’t put on a backpack without checking for leg straps. – Author Unknown

Category:
Skydiving

Out of 10,000 feet of fall, always remember that the last half inch hurts the most. – Charles W. Purcell

Category:
Skydiving

I now know the color of fear — it’s brown. – Author Unknown

Category:
Skydiving

If riding in an airplane is flying, then riding in a boat is swimming. If you want to experience the element, then get out of the vehicle. – Author Unknown

Category:
Skydiving

Random Quotes

Anger makes your life — and your body — off-key. All bitter emotions do. – Terri Guillemets, “A turning trial by fire,” 1999

Category:
Anger

Technology may create a condition, but the questions are what do we do about ourselves. We better understand ourselves pretty clearly and we better find ways to like ourselves. – Herbert Simon

Category:
Technology

The majority of men meet with failure because of their lack of persistence in creating new plans to take the place of those which fail. – Napoleon Hill

Category:
Business

The only power you have is the word no. – Frances McDormand

Category:
power