Logo
Quote by Jack Handey
If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you fr

If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn’t open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming. – Jack Handey

Other quotes by Jack Handey

If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason. – Jack Handey

Category:
Trees
Author
Jack Handey
Read Quote

As the evening sky faded from a salmon color to a sort of flint gray, I thought back to the salmon I caught that morning, and how gray he was, and how I named him Flint. – Jack Handey

Category:
Fishing
Author
Jack Handey
Read Quote

Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around the campfire and nobody got scared. – Jack Handey

Category:
Camping
Author
Jack Handey
Read Quote
Other Quotes from
Skydiving
category

And wow! Hey! What’s this thing coming towards me very fast? Very very fast. So big and flat and round, it needs a big wide sounding word like… ow… ound… round… ground! That’s it! That’s a good name — ground! I wonder if it will be friends with me? – Douglas Adams

Category:
Skydiving

Don’t be afraid of falling out of the plane, you are dressed for the occasion. – Kai Wolf

Category:
Skydiving

Skydive naked from an aeroplane…. – Nikki Sixx, “Kickstart My Heart” (Mötley Crüe song)

Category:
Skydiving

I feel the need to endanger myself every so often. – Tim Daly

Category:
Skydiving

Random Quotes

Duty is the great business of a sea officer all private considerations must give way to it, however painful it may be. – Horatio Nelson

Category:
Business

It breaks my heart to see these young, really talented bands getting chewed up into the system. I remember a time if youd signed to a major label it was such a sell out! But now… unless youve signed to a big label, youre a failure now. – Mike Peters

Category:
Failure

All weddings, except those with shotguns in evidence, are wonderful. – Liz Smith

Category:
wedding

The answer to old age is to keep ones mind busy and to go on with ones life as if it were interminable. I always admired Chekhov for building a new house when he was dying of tuberculosis. – Leon Edel

Category:
Age