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Quote by Jack Handey
If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you fr

If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn’t open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming. – Jack Handey

Other quotes by Jack Handey

Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but when I told that story around the campfire, nobody got scared. – Jack Handey

Category:
Environment
Author
Jack Handey
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As the evening sky faded from a salmon color to a sort of flint gray, I thought back to the salmon I caught that morning, and how gray he was, and how I named him Flint. – Jack Handey

Category:
Fishing
Author
Jack Handey
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What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you want to get drunk? – Jack Handey

Category:
Alcohol
Author
Jack Handey
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Other Quotes from
Skydiving
category

At 13,000 feet nothing else matters. – Author Unknown

Category:
Skydiving

My soul is in the sky. – William Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night’s Dream

Category:
Skydiving

You know you’re a skydiver when your friends think it’s funny when you are sleeping to blow a fan in your face and set a beeper off near your ear. – Author Unknown

Category:
Skydiving

You haven’t seen a tree until you’ve seen its shadow from the sky. – Amelia Earhart

Category:
Skydiving

Random Quotes

I dont know why theyre doing it. I have to assume that their motives are positive, not negative. But they dont understand the severity of the problem in this state. – Gray Davis

Category:
positive

Practice does not make perfect, perfect practice makes perfect. – Vince Lombardi

Category:
Practice

Im not a Luddite, but Im outside more than Im on my computer. We have a micro-farm – its a step up from a garden. We have a pretty extensive vineyard. We grow about 60 percent of our own food, make our own wine, have chickens for eggs. – Emilio Estevez

Category:
Food

There is no definition of beauty, but when you can see someones spirit coming through, something unexplainable, thats beautiful to me. – Liv Tyler

Category:
Beauty