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Quote by Jack Handey
If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you fr

If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn’t open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming. – Jack Handey

Other quotes by Jack Handey

What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you want to get drunk? – Jack Handey

Category:
Alcohol
Author
Jack Handey
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Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around the campfire and nobody got scared. – Jack Handey

Category:
Camping
Author
Jack Handey
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As the evening sky faded from a salmon color to a sort of flint gray, I thought back to the salmon I caught that morning, and how gray he was, and how I named him Flint. – Jack Handey

Category:
Fishing
Author
Jack Handey
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Other Quotes from
Skydiving
category

At 13,000 feet nothing else matters. – Author Unknown

Category:
Skydiving

You swallow hard, thinking to yourself, ‘It must be all right, thousands of people have done it before.’ Then… ‘But this time it’s me — that’s the difference!’ – Charles Shea-Simonds, Sport Parachuting, 1971

Category:
Skydiving

Only skydivers know why the birds sing. They never have to pack a parachute. – Author Unknown

Category:
Skydiving

Minds are like parachutes — they only function when open. – Author Unknown

Category:
Skydiving

Random Quotes

I find the fact that billionaires are quoted as if the fact that they are billionaires gives them some kind of wisdom is outrageous. – Ben Elton

Category:
Wisdom

You have to think big to be big. – Claude M. Bristol

Category:
Prophecy

Poetry brings all possible experience to the same degree: a degree in the consciousness beyond which the consciousness itself cannot go. – Laura Riding

Category:
Poetry

The first casualty when war comes is truth. – Hiram Johnson

Category:
Truth