Logo
Quote by Jack Handey
If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you fr

If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn’t open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming. – Jack Handey

Other quotes by Jack Handey

What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you want to get drunk? – Jack Handey

Category:
Alcohol
Author
Jack Handey
Read Quote

Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around the campfire and nobody got scared. – Jack Handey

Category:
Camping
Author
Jack Handey
Read Quote

As the evening sky faded from a salmon color to a sort of flint gray, I thought back to the salmon I caught that morning, and how gray he was, and how I named him Flint. – Jack Handey

Category:
Fishing
Author
Jack Handey
Read Quote
Other Quotes from
Skydiving
category

You know you’re a skydiver when you wear your rig on commercial passenger flights, just in case. – Author Unknown

Category:
Skydiving

Aviation is not in itself inherently dangerous. But to an even greater degree than even the sea, it is terribly unforgiving of any carelessness, incapacity or neglect. – Alfred Gilmer Lamplugh

Category:
Skydiving

For — believe me — the secret for harvesting from existence the greatest fruitfulness and the greatest enjoyment is — to live dangerously! – Friedrich Nietzsche (1844–1900), The Gay Science, “Book Four: St Januarius

Category:
Skydiving

My soul is in the sky. – William Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night’s Dream

Category:
Skydiving

Random Quotes

If you have a success you have it for the wrong reasons. If you become popular it is always because of the worst aspects of your work. – Ernest Hemingway

Category:
Success

Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired. – Jules Renard

Category:
Laziness

I think Im pretty smart on what I spend my money on. I still dont have a new car, I drive my old car that Ive had forever. But I bought a house in downtown Chicago. – Chris ODonnell

Category:
car

So now, cut to ten years later, and Im making this amazing contract with Pantene. Its incredible. – Maria Menounos

Category:
amazing