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Quote by Jack Handey
If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you fr

If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn’t open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming. – Jack Handey

Other quotes by Jack Handey

What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you want to get drunk? – Jack Handey

Category:
Alcohol
Author
Jack Handey
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If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason. – Jack Handey

Category:
Trees
Author
Jack Handey
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As the evening sky faded from a salmon color to a sort of flint gray, I thought back to the salmon I caught that morning, and how gray he was, and how I named him Flint. – Jack Handey

Category:
Fishing
Author
Jack Handey
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Other Quotes from
Skydiving
category

You know you’re a skydiver when you can’t put on a backpack without checking for leg straps. – Author Unknown

Category:
Skydiving

How strange is this combination of proximity and separation. That ground—seconds away—thousands of miles away. – Charles A. Lindbergh

Category:
Skydiving

You haven’t seen a tree until you’ve seen its shadow from the sky. – Amelia Earhart

Category:
Skydiving

You know you’re a skydiver when your friends think it’s funny when you are sleeping to blow a fan in your face and set a beeper off near your ear. – Author Unknown

Category:
Skydiving

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I believe in one thing only, the power of human will. – Joseph Stalin

Category:
power

In this drawing we just let our imagination run wild. We visualized Superman toys, games, and a radio show – that was before TV – and Superman movies. We even visualized Superman billboards. And its all come true. – Joe Shuster

Category:
Imagination

I dont have anything to prove anymore. I dont have a record deal, no one has any expectations, Im in a position of freedom. I dont need anyones approval. – Juliana Hatfield

Category:
Freedom

All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Category:
Life