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Quote by Jack Handey
If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you fr

If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn’t open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming. – Jack Handey

Other quotes by Jack Handey

What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you want to get drunk? – Jack Handey

Category:
Alcohol
Author
Jack Handey
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If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason. – Jack Handey

Category:
Trees
Author
Jack Handey
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Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around the campfire and nobody got scared. – Jack Handey

Category:
Camping
Author
Jack Handey
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Other Quotes from
Skydiving
category

You know you’re a skydiver when you buy anything you calculate how many skydives it will cost. – Author Unknown

Category:
Skydiving

You know you’re a skydiver when you try to convince the flight attendant on a commercial flight that you really would be much more comfortable sitting on the floor. – Author Unknown

Category:
Skydiving

At 13,000 feet nothing else matters. – Author Unknown

Category:
Skydiving

Skydive naked from an aeroplane…. – Nikki Sixx, “Kickstart My Heart” (Mötley Crüe song)

Category:
Skydiving

Random Quotes

Not to expose your true feelings to an adult seems to be instinctive from the age of seven or eight onwards. – George Orwell

Category:
Age

The envious die not once, but as oft as the envied win applause. – Baltasar Gracián, translated from Spanish

Category:
Jealousy

And not only that, I also have the MacBook Air which is really cool. Even my wife is jealous of my MacBook Air. – Karl Rove

Category:
cool

The United States never lost a war or won a conference. – Will Rogers

Category:
War