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Quote by Jack Handey
If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you fr

If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn’t open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming. – Jack Handey

Other quotes by Jack Handey

Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but when I told that story around the campfire, nobody got scared. – Jack Handey

Category:
Environment
Author
Jack Handey
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If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason. – Jack Handey

Category:
Trees
Author
Jack Handey
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Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around the campfire and nobody got scared. – Jack Handey

Category:
Camping
Author
Jack Handey
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Other Quotes from
Skydiving
category

Skydivers are people who enjoy falling down. – Allen Roulston

Category:
Skydiving

You know you’re a skydiver when you wear your rig on commercial passenger flights, just in case. – Author Unknown

Category:
Skydiving

If the good Lord had wanted people to stay on the ground, he would have given us roots. – Author Unknown

Category:
Skydiving

I’ve never been skydiving, but I have zoomed in on Google Earth really fast. – Author Unknown

Category:
Skydiving

Random Quotes

Poetry makes nothing happen. It survives in the valley of its saying. – W. H. Auden

Category:
Poetry

I thought it was a wonderfully conceptual act actually, to fire a replica pistol at a figurehead — the guy could have been working for Andy Warhol! – J. G. Ballard

Category:
Assassination

In the past I would self destruct when it came to love – I was immature, throwing myself into things but now times have changed, I want a relationship where you understand the other person. – Elisabetta Canalis

Category:
relationship

There are powerful emotions that bring two people together in wonderful harmony in a marriage. Satan knows this, and would tempt you to try these emotions outside of marriage. Do not stir emotions meant to be used only in marriage. – Richard G. Scott

Category:
Marriage