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Quote by Jack Handey
If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you fr

If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn’t open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming. – Jack Handey

Other quotes by Jack Handey

What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you want to get drunk? – Jack Handey

Category:
Alcohol
Author
Jack Handey
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If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason. – Jack Handey

Category:
Trees
Author
Jack Handey
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Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around the campfire and nobody got scared. – Jack Handey

Category:
Camping
Author
Jack Handey
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Other Quotes from
Skydiving
category

You know you’re a skydiver when you’ll wake up at 6:30 am on the weekends to get to the drop zone, but you can’t seem to get up by 7:30 on the weekdays to be at work by 8:00. – Author Unknown

Category:
Skydiving

No one’s hungry in the first few seconds of a skydive. – Brad Pilon, advocate of intermittent fasting

Category:
Skydiving

You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice. – Author Unknown

Category:
Skydiving

You know what they say about skydivers, right? There are old skydivers and bold skydivers, but there are no old, bold skydivers. – Jeff Wuorio

Category:
Skydiving

Random Quotes

To hell with facts! We need stories! – Ken Kesey

Category:
Storytelling

People live longer today than they ever have. They live happier lives, have more knowledge, more information. All this is the result of communications technology. How is any of that bad? – Tom Clancy

Category:
Knowledge

We chose more freedom instead of more government. We chose the principles of our founding to solve the challenges of our time. We chose a special man to lead us in a special time. We chose Mitt Romney to lead our nation. – Marco Rubio

Category:
Freedom

I created Punk for this day and age. Do you see Britney walking around wearing ties and singing punk? Hell no. Thats what I do. Im like a Sid Vicious for a new generation. – Avril Lavigne

Category:
Age