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Quote by Jack Handey
If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you fr

If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn’t open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming. – Jack Handey

Other quotes by Jack Handey

What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you want to get drunk? – Jack Handey

Category:
Alcohol
Author
Jack Handey
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As the evening sky faded from a salmon color to a sort of flint gray, I thought back to the salmon I caught that morning, and how gray he was, and how I named him Flint. – Jack Handey

Category:
Fishing
Author
Jack Handey
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Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but when I told that story around the campfire, nobody got scared. – Jack Handey

Category:
Environment
Author
Jack Handey
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Other Quotes from
Skydiving
category

You know you’re a skydiver when you wear your rig on commercial passenger flights, just in case. – Author Unknown

Category:
Skydiving

No one’s hungry in the first few seconds of a skydive. – Brad Pilon, advocate of intermittent fasting

Category:
Skydiving

Don’t be afraid of falling out of the plane, you are dressed for the occasion. – Kai Wolf

Category:
Skydiving

You know what they say about skydivers, right? There are old skydivers and bold skydivers, but there are no old, bold skydivers. – Jeff Wuorio

Category:
Skydiving

Random Quotes

I believe that one defines oneself by reinvention. To not be like your parents. To not be like your friends. To be yourself. To cut yourself out of stone. – Henry Rollins

Category:
inspirational

Your nature is the Buddha. – Bodhidharma

Category:
Nature

Nah, Ive always had a great relationship with my two brothers, I have always had their support in my football and in everything. Theyve been very close to me and we have a great relationship. – Lionel Messi

Category:
relationship

If youre old, dont try to change yourself, change your environment. – B. F. Skinner

Category:
Age