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Quote by Jack Handey
If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you fr

If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn’t open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming. – Jack Handey

Other quotes by Jack Handey

Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around the campfire and nobody got scared. – Jack Handey

Category:
Camping
Author
Jack Handey
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What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you want to get drunk? – Jack Handey

Category:
Alcohol
Author
Jack Handey
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As the evening sky faded from a salmon color to a sort of flint gray, I thought back to the salmon I caught that morning, and how gray he was, and how I named him Flint. – Jack Handey

Category:
Fishing
Author
Jack Handey
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Other Quotes from
Skydiving
category

Don’t be afraid of falling out of the plane, you are dressed for the occasion. – Kai Wolf

Category:
Skydiving

I feel the need to endanger myself every so often. – Tim Daly

Category:
Skydiving

My soul is in the sky. – William Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night’s Dream

Category:
Skydiving

People have always liked to be frightened. People love to feel that jolt of adrenaline. People love roller coasters. People love skydiving. These things that really get your heart pumping, and horror films are sort of a safe way to get that rush I guess. – Aaron Stanford

Category:
Skydiving

Random Quotes

Women are reputed never to be disgusted. The sad fact is that they often are, but not with men following the lead of men, they are most often disgusted with themselves. – Germaine Greer

Category:
sad

I do engineering, not religion. – Daniel J. Bernstein

Category:
Religion

I didnt run for student council president. I dont see myself in any way in elected office. I love policy. Im not particularly fond of politics. – Condoleezza Rice

Category:
Politics

The tender friendships one gives up, on parting, leave their bite on the heart, but also a curious feeling of a treasure somewhere buried. – Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, Southern Mail, 1929, translated from French by Cu

Category:
Friendship