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Quote by Jack Handey
What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singi

What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you want to get drunk? – Jack Handey

Other quotes by Jack Handey

If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason. – Jack Handey

Category:
Trees
Author
Jack Handey
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As the evening sky faded from a salmon color to a sort of flint gray, I thought back to the salmon I caught that morning, and how gray he was, and how I named him Flint. – Jack Handey

Category:
Fishing
Author
Jack Handey
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Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around the campfire and nobody got scared. – Jack Handey

Category:
Camping
Author
Jack Handey
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Other Quotes from
Alcohol
category

Brandy, n. A cordial composed of one part thunder-and-lightning, one part remorse, two parts bloody murder, one part death-hell-and-the-grave and four parts clarified Satan. – Ambrose Bierce

Category:
Alcohol

Woman first tempted man to eat; he took to drinking of his own accord. – Four Hundred Laughs: Or, Fun Without Vulgarity, compiled and edited by John R. K

Category:
Alcohol

We borrowed golf from Scotland as we borrowed whiskey. Not because it is Scottish, but because it is good. – Horace Hutchinson

Category:
Alcohol

I believe that when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade — and then try to find someone whose life is giving them vodka, and have a party. – Ron White

Category:
Alcohol

Random Quotes

I think theres a vague sense out there that movies are becoming more and more unreal. I know Ive felt it. – Christopher Nolan

Category:
movies

Read, every day, something no one else is reading. Think, every day, something no one else is thinking. Do, every day, something no one else would be silly enough to do. It is bad for the mind to continually be part of unanimity. – Christopher Morley

Category:
Conformity

I trust the time is coming, when the occupation of an instructor to children will be deemed the most honorable of human employment. – Angelina Grimke

Category:
Trust

The aim of marketing is to know and understand the customer so well the product or service fits him and sells itself. – Peter Drucker

Category:
Advertising