Quote by Jack Handey
What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singi

What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you want to get drunk? – Jack Handey

Other quotes by Jack Handey

If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason. – Jack Handey

Category:
Trees
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Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around the campfire and nobody got scared. – Jack Handey

Category:
Camping
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As the evening sky faded from a salmon color to a sort of flint gray, I thought back to the salmon I caught that morning, and how gray he was, and how I named him Flint. – Jack Handey

Category:
Fishing
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Other Quotes from
Alcohol
category

Where ever I go, there I am. Drunk. – Rita E. Torres

Category:
Alcohol

Of the demonstrably wise there are but two: those who commit suicide, and those who keep their reasoning faculties atrophied by drink. – Mark Twain, Note-Book, 1935

Category:
Alcohol

The first thing in the human personality that dissolves in alcohol is dignity. – Author Unknown

Category:
Alcohol

Know thyself, especially thyself after a couple of drinks. – Robert Brault, rbrault.blogspot.com

Category:
Alcohol

Random Quotes

The medical literature tells us that the most effective ways to reduce the risk of heart disease, cancer, stroke, diabetes, Alzheimers, and many more problems are through healthy diet and exercise. Our bodies have evolved to move, yet we now use the energy in oil instead of muscles to do our work. – David Suzuki

Category:
diet

Its always flattering when somebody you really respect and like wants you to be involved in their project – let alone writes a part with your voice in mind. – Chris Messina

Category:
respect

True art is characterized by an irresistible urge in the creative artist. – Albert Einstein

Category:
Art

Something was still there, that something that distinguishes an artist from a performer: the revealing of self. Here I be. Not for long, but here I be. In sensing her mortality, we sensed our own. – Studs Terkel

Category:
Jazz