Quote by Jack Handey
What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singi

What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you want to get drunk? – Jack Handey

Other quotes by Jack Handey

Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but when I told that story around the campfire, nobody got scared. – Jack Handey

Category:
Environment
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Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around the campfire and nobody got scared. – Jack Handey

Category:
Camping
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If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn’t open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming. – Jack Handey

Category:
Skydiving
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Other Quotes from
Alcohol
category

Sobriety is either the love of health, or an incapacity for debauch. – François VI de la Rochefoucault (1613–1680)

Category:
Alcohol

Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living. – Jean Kerr

Category:
Alcohol

They speak of my drinking, but never think of my thirst. – Scottish Proverb

Category:
Alcohol

Drunkenness is temporary suicide. – Bertrand Russell, The Conquest of Happiness

Category:
Alcohol

Random Quotes

Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out. – Phyllis Diller

Category:
best

Towards evening the lazy person begins to get busy. – Proverb

Category:
Laziness

Love before marriage is absolutely necessary. – Samuel Richardson

Category:
Marriage

Those who are lifting the world upward and onward are those who encourage more than criticize. – Elizabeth Harrison

Category:
Support