Quote by Jack Handey
What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singi

What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you want to get drunk? – Jack Handey

Other quotes by Jack Handey

Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but when I told that story around the campfire, nobody got scared. – Jack Handey

Category:
Environment
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If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn’t open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming. – Jack Handey

Category:
Skydiving
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Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around the campfire and nobody got scared. – Jack Handey

Category:
Camping
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Other Quotes from
Alcohol
category

I prefer to think that God is not dead, just drunk. – John Marcellus Huston

Category:
Alcohol

Champagne, if you are seeking the truth, is better than a lie detector. It encourages a man to be expansive, even reckless, while lie detectors are only a challenge to tell lies successfully. – Graham Greene

Category:
Alcohol

Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors… and miss. – Robert Heinlein

Category:
Alcohol

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. – W.C. Fields

Category:
Alcohol

Random Quotes

We have almost succeeded in leveling all human activities to the common denominator of securing the necessities of life and providing for their abundance. – Hannah Arendt

Category:
Excess

When the traveler goes alone he gets acquainted with himself. – Liberty Hyde Bailey

Category:
alone

Golf is so popular simply because it is the best game in the world at which to be bad. – A.A. Milne

Category:
Golf

Ive never had WiFi at home. Im too easily distracted, and YouTube is too tempting. – Dave Eggers

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