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Quote by Jack Handey
What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singi

What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you want to get drunk? – Jack Handey

Other quotes by Jack Handey

As the evening sky faded from a salmon color to a sort of flint gray, I thought back to the salmon I caught that morning, and how gray he was, and how I named him Flint. – Jack Handey

Category:
Fishing
Author
Jack Handey
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If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason. – Jack Handey

Category:
Trees
Author
Jack Handey
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Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around the campfire and nobody got scared. – Jack Handey

Category:
Camping
Author
Jack Handey
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Other Quotes from
Alcohol
category

Take life with a grain of salt, a slice of lime, and a shot of tequila. – Author Unknown

Category:
Alcohol

Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors… and miss. – Robert Heinlein

Category:
Alcohol

The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober. – William Butler Yeats

Category:
Alcohol

Woman first tempted man to eat; he took to drinking of his own accord. – Four Hundred Laughs: Or, Fun Without Vulgarity, compiled and edited by John R. K

Category:
Alcohol

Random Quotes

The phenomenon of home schooling is a wonderful example of the American can-do attitude. Growing numbers of parents have become disenchanted with government-run public schools. Many parents have simply taken matters into their own hands, literally. – Steve Forbes

Category:
Attitude

Praise the sea; on shore remain. – John Florio

Category:
Water

Go miser go, for money sell your soul. Trade wares for wares and trudge from pole to pole, So others may say when you are dead and gone. See what a vast estate he left his son. – John Dryden

Category:
Money

There is only one thing for us to do, and that is to do our level best right where we are every day of our lives To use our best judgment, and then to trust the rest to that Power which holds the forces of the universe in his hands. – Orison Swett Marden

Category:
best