Quote by Jack Handey
What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singi

What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you want to get drunk? – Jack Handey

Other quotes by Jack Handey

As the evening sky faded from a salmon color to a sort of flint gray, I thought back to the salmon I caught that morning, and how gray he was, and how I named him Flint. – Jack Handey

Category:
Fishing
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Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but when I told that story around the campfire, nobody got scared. – Jack Handey

Category:
Environment
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Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around the campfire and nobody got scared. – Jack Handey

Category:
Camping
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Other Quotes from
Alcohol
category

I hate a drinking companion with a memory. – Martial, quoted by Lucian #happyhour

Category:
Alcohol

I drink exactly as much as I want, and one drink more. – H.L. Mencken

Category:
Alcohol

I believe that when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade — and then try to find someone whose life is giving them vodka, and have a party. – Ron White

Category:
Alcohol

Where ever I go, there I am. Drunk. – Rita E. Torres

Category:
Alcohol

Random Quotes

Organize, agitate, educate, must be our war cry. – Susan B. Anthony

Category:
War

The romanticised life, where all the great poetry and music and art of the world comes from, is great but it requires a lot of self-indulgence. – Laura Marling

Category:
Poetry

I mean, whatever kills you kills you, and your death is authentic no matter how you die. – Jerry Garcia

Category:
Death

And thats the world in a nutshell, which is an appropriate receptacle. – Stan Dunn

Category:
World