Quote by Jack Handey
What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singi

What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you want to get drunk? – Jack Handey

Other quotes by Jack Handey

Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around the campfire and nobody got scared. – Jack Handey

Category:
Camping
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If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn’t open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming. – Jack Handey

Category:
Skydiving
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Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but when I told that story around the campfire, nobody got scared. – Jack Handey

Category:
Environment
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Other Quotes from
Alcohol
category

No poems can please for long or live that are written by water-drinkers. – Horace (Quintus Horatius Flaccus), Satires

Category:
Alcohol

Drunkenness is temporary suicide. – Bertrand Russell, The Conquest of Happiness

Category:
Alcohol

If food hath slain its thousands, then drink has slain its tens of thousands. – William Kitchiner, Directions for Invigorating and Prolonging Life, 1831

Category:
Alcohol

Health — what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down. – Phyllis Diller

Category:
Alcohol

Random Quotes

The conqueror is regarded with awe the wise man commands our respect but it is only the benevolent man that wins our affection. – William Dean Howells

Category:
respect

The five senses are horse sense, innocence, common sense, concupiscence, and nonsense. – Source Unknown

Category:
Senses

Man is manacled only by himself; thought and action are the jailers of Fate. – James Allen

Category:
Fate & Destiny

Dont worry, be happy. – Meher Baba

Category:
Worry