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Quote by Jack Handey
What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singi

What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you want to get drunk? – Jack Handey

Other quotes by Jack Handey

If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn’t open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming. – Jack Handey

Category:
Skydiving
Author
Jack Handey
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As the evening sky faded from a salmon color to a sort of flint gray, I thought back to the salmon I caught that morning, and how gray he was, and how I named him Flint. – Jack Handey

Category:
Fishing
Author
Jack Handey
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Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around the campfire and nobody got scared. – Jack Handey

Category:
Camping
Author
Jack Handey
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Other Quotes from
Alcohol
category

Drink the first. Sip the second slowly. Skip the third. – Knute Rockne

Category:
Alcohol

We borrowed golf from Scotland as we borrowed whiskey. Not because it is Scottish, but because it is good. – Horace Hutchinson

Category:
Alcohol

It is most absurdly said, in popular language, of any man, that he is disguised in liquor; for, on the contrary, most men are disguised by sobriety. – Thomas de Quincy, Confessions of an English Opium-Eater, 1856

Category:
Alcohol

A woman drove me to drink and I never even had the courtesy to thank her. – W.C. Fields

Category:
Alcohol

Random Quotes

We ascribe beauty to that which is simple; which has no superfluous parts; which exactly answers its end; which stands related to all things; which is the mean of many extremes. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Category:
Beauty

American youth attributes much more importance to arriving at drivers license age than at voting age. – Marshall McLuhan

Category:
Age

Sometimes what we believe as coincidence is really just getting ourselves caught in an angel booby trap. – Terri Guillemets

Category:
Fate

In a World where people are surrounded by darkness, ignorance and fear, it is a sign of hope to be celebrating Islams message of peace and light, and the last great Messenger, born and chosen to deliver them to all mankind. – Cat Stevens

Category:
Fear