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Quote by Jack Handey
What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singi

What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you want to get drunk? – Jack Handey

Other quotes by Jack Handey

If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn’t open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming. – Jack Handey

Category:
Skydiving
Author
Jack Handey
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As the evening sky faded from a salmon color to a sort of flint gray, I thought back to the salmon I caught that morning, and how gray he was, and how I named him Flint. – Jack Handey

Category:
Fishing
Author
Jack Handey
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If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason. – Jack Handey

Category:
Trees
Author
Jack Handey
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Other Quotes from
Alcohol
category

A man ought not never to get drunk above the neck. – Author Unknown

Category:
Alcohol

It is most absurdly said, in popular language, of any man, that he is disguised in liquor; for, on the contrary, most men are disguised by sobriety. – Thomas de Quincy, Confessions of an English Opium-Eater, 1856

Category:
Alcohol

I hate a drinking companion with a memory. – Martial, quoted by Lucian #happyhour

Category:
Alcohol

The first thing in the human personality that dissolves in alcohol is dignity. – Author Unknown

Category:
Alcohol

Random Quotes

All a good letter has to do is make you feel special. – Animal Crossing: Wild World (Nintendo video game) written by Takayuki Ikkaku, Ar

Category:
Letters

Make good habits and they will make you. – Parks Cousins

Category:
Habits

The only person who is educated is the one who has learned how to learn and change. – Carl Rogers

Category:
Change

Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work. – Aristotle

Category:
work