Quote by Jack Handey
What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singi

What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you want to get drunk? – Jack Handey

Other quotes by Jack Handey

Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but when I told that story around the campfire, nobody got scared. – Jack Handey

Category:
Environment
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If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason. – Jack Handey

Category:
Trees
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As the evening sky faded from a salmon color to a sort of flint gray, I thought back to the salmon I caught that morning, and how gray he was, and how I named him Flint. – Jack Handey

Category:
Fishing
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Other Quotes from
Alcohol
category

Where ever I go, there I am. Drunk. – Rita E. Torres

Category:
Alcohol

I envy people who drink—at least they know what to blame everything on. – Oscar Levant

Category:
Alcohol

Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living. – Jean Kerr

Category:
Alcohol

No animal ever invented anything so bad as drunkenness — or so good as drink. – Lord Chesterton

Category:
Alcohol

Random Quotes

Im always hoping for the nights that are inspired where you almost have an out of body experience. – Dave Brubeck

Category:
Experience

He that rebels against reason is a real rebel, but he that in defence of reason rebels against tyranny has a better title to Defender of the Faith, than George the Third. – Thomas Paine

Category:
Faith

The coolest part about seeing a girl wear something comfortable is the smile that you can just feel coming through from inside her. – Kellan Lutz

Category:
smile

I am sorry I have not learnt to play at cards. It is very useful in life: it generates kindness, and consolidates society. – Samuel Johnson

Category:
Sports :: Poker