Quote by Jack Handey
What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singi

What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you want to get drunk? – Jack Handey

Other quotes by Jack Handey

Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around the campfire and nobody got scared. – Jack Handey

Category:
Camping
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As the evening sky faded from a salmon color to a sort of flint gray, I thought back to the salmon I caught that morning, and how gray he was, and how I named him Flint. – Jack Handey

Category:
Fishing
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If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason. – Jack Handey

Category:
Trees
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Other Quotes from
Alcohol
category

Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living. – Jean Kerr

Category:
Alcohol

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. – W.C. Fields

Category:
Alcohol

The first thing in the human personality that dissolves in alcohol is dignity. – Author Unknown

Category:
Alcohol

Whoever takes just plain ginger ale soon gets drowned out of the conversation. – Kin Hubbard

Category:
Alcohol

Random Quotes

If I like a food, Ill eat it, even if I know its not good for me. – Kim Kardashian

Category:
Food

Jobs mean freedom for workers to support their families. – Nancy Pelosi

Category:
Freedom

Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved. – Helen Keller

Category:
Experience

Whatever accomplishment you boast of in the world, there is someone better than you. – African Proverb

Category:
Vanity