Quote by Jack Handey
What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singi

What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you want to get drunk? – Jack Handey

Other quotes by Jack Handey

Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around the campfire and nobody got scared. – Jack Handey

Category:
Camping
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As the evening sky faded from a salmon color to a sort of flint gray, I thought back to the salmon I caught that morning, and how gray he was, and how I named him Flint. – Jack Handey

Category:
Fishing
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If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn’t open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming. – Jack Handey

Category:
Skydiving
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Other Quotes from
Alcohol
category

A man ought not never to get drunk above the neck. – Author Unknown

Category:
Alcohol

Woman first tempted man to eat; he took to drinking of his own accord. – Four Hundred Laughs: Or, Fun Without Vulgarity, compiled and edited by John R. K

Category:
Alcohol

No poems can please for long or live that are written by water-drinkers. – Horace (Quintus Horatius Flaccus), Satires

Category:
Alcohol

Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors… and miss. – Robert Heinlein

Category:
Alcohol

Random Quotes

The spirit is at home, if not entirely satisfied, in America. – Allan Bloom

Category:
America

I like the way words go together and I like the gamesmanship of writing poetry. It is such a challenge. – Jeffery Deaver

Category:
Poetry

I went whole hog at the actors lifestyle – really embraced it. I had by then known how much I loved acting already, because I discovered acting from a teacher in the seminary – thats the first place I ever did it, in the seminary. – Peter Jurasik

Category:
teacher

Shadows sometimes people dont see shadows. The Chinese of course never paint them in pictures, oriental art never deals with shadow. But I noticed these shadows and I knew it meant it was sunny. – David Hockney

Category:
Art