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Quote by Jack Handey
Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing

Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around the campfire and nobody got scared. – Jack Handey

Other quotes by Jack Handey

If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason. – Jack Handey

Category:
Trees
Author
Jack Handey
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If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn’t open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming. – Jack Handey

Category:
Skydiving
Author
Jack Handey
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What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you want to get drunk? – Jack Handey

Category:
Alcohol
Author
Jack Handey
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Other Quotes from
Camping
category

The fire is the main comfort of the camp, whether in summer or winter, and is about as ample at one season as at another. It is as well for cheerfulness as for warmth and dryness. – Henry David Thoreau

Category:
Camping

We now no longer camp as for a night, but have settled down on earth and forgotten heaven. – Henry David Thoreau

Category:
Camping

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. – George Carlin

Category:
Camping

The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition. – Dave Barry

Category:
Camping

Random Quotes

Success is achieved by developing our strengths, not by eliminating our weaknesses. – Marilyn vos Savant

Category:
Success

The writer must earn money in order to be able to live and to write, but he must by no means live and write for the purpose of making money. – Karl Marx

Category:
Money

When it comes to football, God is prejudiced — toward big, fast kids. – Chuck Mills

Category:
Football

Age puzzles me. I thought it was a quiet time. My seventies were interesting and fairly serene, but my eighties are passionate. I grow more intense as I age. – Florida Scott-Maxwell

Category:
Age