Quote by Jack Handey
Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing

Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around the campfire and nobody got scared. – Jack Handey

Other quotes by Jack Handey

As the evening sky faded from a salmon color to a sort of flint gray, I thought back to the salmon I caught that morning, and how gray he was, and how I named him Flint. – Jack Handey

Category:
Fishing
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What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you want to get drunk? – Jack Handey

Category:
Alcohol
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If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason. – Jack Handey

Category:
Trees
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Other Quotes from
Camping
category

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. – George Carlin

Category:
Camping

Camping: The art of getting closer to nature while getting farther away from the nearest cold beverage, hot shower and flush toilet. – Author Unknown

Category:
Camping

We now no longer camp as for a night, but have settled down on earth and forgotten heaven. – Henry David Thoreau

Category:
Camping

How is it that one match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box of matches to start a campfire? – Christy Whitehead

Category:
Camping

Random Quotes

Every man is a damn fool for at least five minutes every day; wisdom consists in not exceeding the limit. – Elbert Hubbard

Category:
Wisdom

Now the melancholy God protect thee, and the tailor make thy garments of changeable taffeta, for thy mind is opal. – William Shakespeare, The Twelfth Night

Category:
Jewelry

We may have forgotten how to feel. Nobody is teaching us how to live happily ever after, as weve heard in fairy tales. – Yakov Smirnoff

Category:
teacher

A good objective of leadership is to help those who are doing poorly to do well and to help those who are doing well to do even better. – Jim Rohn

Category:
good