Opera is where a guy gets stabbed in the back, and instead of dying, he sings. – Robert Benchley
I am pretty sure that, if you will be quite honest, you will admit that a good rousing sneeze, one that tears open your collar and throws your hair into your eyes, is really one of lifes sensational pleasures. – Robert Benchley
I must get out of these wet clothes and into a dry Martini. – Robert Benchley
A real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on. The only cure for a real hangover is death. – Robert Benchley
Why are not more gems from our great authors scattered over the country? Great books are not in everybodys reach; and though it is better to know them thoroughly than to know them only here and there, yet it is a good work to give a little to those who have not the time nor means to get more. – Samuel Taylor Coleridge