Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and youre kind, amazing things will happen. – Conan OBrien
The Canadian government continues to say they will not help us if we go to war with Iraq. However, the prime minister of Canada said hed like to help, but hes pretty sure that last time he checked, Canada had no army. – Conan OBrien
There are few things more liberating in this life than having your worst fear realized. – Conan OBrien
A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: Duh. – Conan OBrien
I never saw my dad cry. My son saw me cry. My dad never told me he loved me, and consequently I told Scott I loved him every other minute. The point is, Ill make less mistakes than my dad, my sons hopefully will make less mistakes than me, and their sons will make less mistakes than their dads. – James Caan