Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and youre kind, amazing things will happen. – Conan OBrien
The nightmare is you spend the rest of your life being funny at parties and then people say, Why didnt you do that when you were on television? – Conan OBrien
Officials at the White House are saying that President Bush hasnt changed his schedule much since the war started. The main difference, they say, is that hes started watching the news and taping Sponge Bob. – Conan OBrien
During last nights debate, John Kerry and John Edwards were so friendly to each other some political experts think that they may end up running together. In fact Kerry and Edwards were so friendly, President Bush accused them of planning a gay marriage. – Conan OBrien