Earlier today, Arnold Schwarzenegger criticized the California school system, calling it disastrous. Arnold says Californias schools are so bad that its graduates are willing to vote for me. – Conan OBrien
Every comedian dreams of hosting The Tonight Show and, for seven months, I got to. I did it my way, with people I love, and I do not regret a second. – Conan OBrien
Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and youre kind, amazing things will happen. – Conan OBrien
During last nights debate, John Kerry and John Edwards were so friendly to each other some political experts think that they may end up running together. In fact Kerry and Edwards were so friendly, President Bush accused them of planning a gay marriage. – Conan OBrien