Earlier today, Arnold Schwarzenegger criticized the California school system, calling it disastrous. Arnold says Californias schools are so bad that its graduates are willing to vote for me. – Conan OBrien
President Clinton signed a $10 million deal to write a book by 2003. Isnt that amazing? Yes, and get this, not only that, President Bush signed a $10 million deal to read a book by 2003. – Conan OBrien
The U.S. army confirmed that it gave a lucrative fire fighting contract in Iraq to the firm once run by the Vice President Dick Cheney without any competitive bidding. When asked if this could be conceived as Cheneys friends profiting from the war, the spokesman said Yes. – Conan OBrien
The nightmare is you spend the rest of your life being funny at parties and then people say, Why didnt you do that when you were on television? – Conan OBrien