Intexticated: distracted by the act of texting to such a degree that one seems intoxicated. – Author Unknown

How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive? – Matt Groening, The Simpsons, spoken by the character Homer

The driver is safer when the roads are dry; the roads are safer when the driver is dry. – Author Unknown

Tyrannosaurus drinks. Tyrannosaurus drives. Tyrannosaurus rex. – Author Unknown