Middle age is when youre sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isnt for you. – Ogden Nash
Certainly there are things in life that money cant buy, but its very funny – Did you ever try buying then without money? – Ogden Nash
When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window. – Ogden Nash
Here is a pen and here is a pencil, heres a typewriter, heres a stencil, heres a list of todays appointments, and all the flies in all the ointments, the daily woes that a man endures — take them, George, theyre yours! – Ogden Nash
The trouble with tea is that originally it was quite a good drink. So a group of the most eminent British scientists put their heads together, and made complicated biological experiments to find a way of spoiling it. To the eternal glory of British science their labor bore fruit. – George Mikes