Marriage is like a game of chess except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome. – Jerry Seinfeld
A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you dont have a top for it. – Jerry Seinfeld
The first real thought that I had of something that I might do was to write for car magazines, because I always had a car thing. – Jerry Seinfeld
Well, all comedy starts with anger. You get angry, and its never for a good reason, right? You know its not a good reason. And then you try and work it from there. – Jerry Seinfeld