If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck. – Jeff Foxworthy
My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family. – Jeff Foxworthy
My father-in-law gets up at 5 oclock in the morning and watches the Discovery Channel. I dont know why theres this big rush to do this. – Jeff Foxworthy
The best thing that ever happened to me is that nothing happened in writing. I ended up working for engineering companies, and thats where I found my material, in the everyday struggle between capitalism and grace. Being broke and tired, you dont come home your best self. – George Saunders
Its hard for women who make a lot of money and make decisions all day long, then they have to come home and be Stupid Sally. Men need respect, and they need to know that they can lead in the relationship, so even if they dont make the most money they need to be able to call the shots. – Patti Stanger