Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch. – Dennis Miller
Just put down 9/11… I think, on most things Im liberal, except on defending ourselves and keeping half the money. Those things Im kind of conservative on. – Dennis Miller
The American education system couldnt be more badly directed or poorly funded if the Secretary of Education were Ed Wood. – Dennis Miller
Never ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is just a piece of paper. Well, so is money, and whats more life-affirming than cold, hard cash? – Dennis Miller