It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows. – Erma Bombeck
What were really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving? – Erma Bombeck
My theory on housework is, if the item doesnt multiply, smell, catch on fire or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one cares. Why should you? – Erma Bombeck
My type of humor is almost pure identification. A housewife reads my column and says, But thats happened to ME! I know just what shes talking about! – Erma Bombeck
When youre doing a TV show, its not like you just shoot for six weeks and youre in an editing room with all of your footage. Its like a guitar or a car, you have to fine tune things. You stop doing whats not working, you work on what is working and you add things that do work. – Chris Pratt
I have mentally overcome situations most of you would be terrified to ever attempt: heights, fire, needles, spiders, snakes, angry monkeys, being shot, being hit by a car, going blind – you name it, I have been in a situation where I have had to mentally overcome my inherent fears to do my job. – Criss Angel