My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense. – Fred Allen
Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats, then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure. – Fred Allen

My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense. – Fred Allen
Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats, then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure. – Fred Allen
An actors popularity is fleeting. His success has the life expectancy of a small boy who is about to look into a gas tank with a lighted match. – Fred Allen
The first time I sang in the church choir two hundred people changed their religion. – Fred Allen