My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense. – Fred Allen
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. – Fred Allen

My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense. – Fred Allen
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. – Fred Allen
Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time. The man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host. – Fred Allen
An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission. – Fred Allen