Every success story has a parent who says, over my dead body. Every success story has an old person who walks up to you and says, when youre acting the fool, you know I worry about you sometimes. – Bill Cosby
A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when hes in there, as if he needed company. The only way for this father to be certain of bathroom privacy is to shave at the gas station. – Bill Cosby
Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell, the name will carry. – Bill Cosby
People will frighten you about a graduation…. They use words you don’t hear often: “And we wish you Godspeed.” It is a warning, Godspeed. It means you are no longer welcome here at these prices. – Bill Cosby
There are two great rules of life, the one general and the other particular. The first is that everyone can, in the end get what he wants if he only tries. This is the general rule. The particular rule is that every individual is more or less an exception to the general rule. – Samuel Butler