If the events of September 11, 2001, have proven anything, its that the terrorists can attack us, but they cant take away what makes us American – our freedom, our liberty, our civil rights. No, only Attorney General John Ashcroft can do that. – Jon Stewart
On an average day 7 minutes of news happens. Yet there are currently three full-time, 24-hour news networks. – Jon Stewart
I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land. – Jon Stewart
The seven marvels that best represent mans achievements over the last 2,000 years will be determined by Internet vote… so look for Howard Sterns Private Parts to come in No. 1. – Jon Stewart
Mistakes, scandals, and failures no longer signal catastrophe. The crucial thing is that they be made credible, and that the public be made aware of the efforts being expended in that direction. The marketing immunity of governments is similar to that of the major brands of washing powder. – Jean Baudrillard