I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land. – Jon Stewart
The Internet is just a world passing around notes in a classroom. – Jon Stewart
Our culture is just a series of checks and balances. The whole idea that were in a battle between tyranny and freedom – its a series of pendulum swings. – Jon Stewart
If the events of September 11, 2001, have proven anything, its that the terrorists can attack us, but they cant take away what makes us American – our freedom, our liberty, our civil rights. No, only Attorney General John Ashcroft can do that. – Jon Stewart