The best baby-sitters, of course, are the baby’s grandparents. You feel completely comfortable entrusting your baby to them for long periods, which is why most grandparents flee to Florida. – Dave Barry
Never assume that the guy understands that you and he have a relationship. – Dave Barry
The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot. – Dave Barry
Imagine what will happen to this nation if large numbers of American women start using the Wonderbra. It will be catastrophic. The male half of the population will be nothing but mindless drooling Zombies of Lust. Granted, this is also true now, but it will be even worse. – Dave Barry