Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established. – George Carlin
In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first. – George Carlin
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? – George Carlin
Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and dont have time for all that. – George Carlin
Well, when youre the youngest of five, parents kind of lose interest more and more through the children. I think my eldest brother was under loads of pressure to do something amazing with his life, but by the time I came around they were like, Well, lets hope he doesnt kill a guy. – Chris ODowd