Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and dont have time for all that. – George Carlin
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? – George Carlin
Im completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. – George Carlin
Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit. – George Carlin
The best thing that ever happened to me is that nothing happened in writing. I ended up working for engineering companies, and thats where I found my material, in the everyday struggle between capitalism and grace. Being broke and tired, you dont come home your best self. – George Saunders