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Quote by Joan Rivers
I dont excercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have

I dont excercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor. – Joan Rivers

Other quotes by Joan Rivers

People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made. – Joan Rivers

Category:
Happiness
Author
Joan Rivers
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I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was the man goes on top and the woman underneath. For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds. – Joan Rivers

Category:
Life
Author
Joan Rivers
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Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is Gods gift, thats why we call it the present. – Joan Rivers

Category:
God
Author
Joan Rivers
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Other Quotes from
God
category

All the lessons of history in four sentences: Whom the gods would destroy, they first make mad with power. The mills of God grind slowly, but they grind exceedingly small. The bee fertilizes the flower it robs. When it is dark enough, you can see the stars. – Charles A. Beard

Category:
God

The moment I have realized God sitting in the temple of every human body, the moment I stand in reverence before every human being and see God in him – that moment I am free from bondage, everything that binds vanishes, and I am free. – Swami Vivekananda

Category:
God

God who is eternally complete, who directs the stars, who is the master of fates, who elevates man from his lowliness to Himself, who speaks from the cosmos to every single human soul, is the most brilliant manifestation of the goal of perfection. – Alfred Adler

Category:
God

He must pull out his own eyes, and see no creature, before he can say, he sees no God He must be no man, and quench his reasonable soul, before he can say to himself, there is no God. – John Donne

Category:
God

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Category:
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The music industry is really funny, when you have a hit record, everyone knows who are you, everyone wants to do duets with you, then if you have a miss, people suffer from amnesia. – Seal

Category:
funny

The reason American cars dont sell anymore is that they have forgotten how to design the American Dream. What does it matter if you buy a car today or six months from now, because cars are not beautiful. Thats why the American auto industry is in trouble: no design, no desire. – Karl Lagerfeld

Category:
Automobiles

So much of TV seems to be chewing gum for the eyes…. TV desperately needs more self-reliance and pride in the medium. – John Mason Brown, January 1955, modification of an earlier statement by Henri Pe

Category:
Television