If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one. – Andy Rooney
The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army always tries to eliminate the individual differences in men. – Andy Rooney
The closing of a door can bring blessed privacy and comfort – the opening, terror. Conversely, the closing of a door can be a sad and final thing – the opening a wonderfully joyous moment. – Andy Rooney
I hope all of you are going to fill out your census form when it comes in the mail next month. If you dont return the form the area you live in might get less government money and you wouldnt want that to happen, would you. – Andy Rooney