My own time is passing fast enough without some national game to help it along. – Andy Rooney
The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army always tries to eliminate the individual differences in men. – Andy Rooney
The closing of a door can bring blessed privacy and comfort – the opening, terror. Conversely, the closing of a door can be a sad and final thing – the opening a wonderfully joyous moment. – Andy Rooney
I dont think the government is out to get me or help someone else get me but it wouldnt surprise me if they were out to sell me something or help someone else sell me something. I mean, why else would the Census Bureau want to know my telephone number? – Andy Rooney