She doesnt understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven. – Joan Rivers
What are people going to do? Fire me? Ive been fired before. Not book me? Ive been out of work before. I dont care. – Joan Rivers
People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made. – Joan Rivers
Im Jewish. I dont work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor. – Joan Rivers
The stories that I want to tell, especially as a director, dont necessarily have a perfect ending because, the older you get, the more you appreciate a good day versus a happy ending. You understand that life continues on the next day the reality of things is what happens tomorrow. – Drew Barrymore