I’ve compiled a book from the Internet. It’s a book of quotations attributed to the wrong people. – Jerry Seinfeld
Well, all comedy starts with anger. You get angry, and its never for a good reason, right? You know its not a good reason. And then you try and work it from there. – Jerry Seinfeld
Thats the true spirit of Christmas people being helped by people other than me. – Jerry Seinfeld
You know youre getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. Its like, See if you can blow this out. – Jerry Seinfeld
Dr. Richard Bentley (1662-1742)… is said one day, on finding his son reading a novel, to have remarked—’Why read a book that you cannot quote?’— a saying which affords an amusing illustration of the nature and object of his literary studies. – Cyclopædia of English Literature edited by Robert Chambers, 1844