When I jumped off a roof in Cannes in a bee costume, I looked ridiculous. But this is my business I have to humiliate myself. – Jerry Seinfeld
Marriage is like a game of chess except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome. – Jerry Seinfeld
A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you dont have a top for it. – Jerry Seinfeld
I dont want to get into the whos a hostage-taker discussion here, but what is the estate tax? Its a double tax on death. Economists will tell you that its really not a tax that soaks the rich, but its a tax on capital that deprives business investment and therefore job creation. – Paul Ryan