You may not be able to read a doctors handwriting and prescription, but youll notice his bills are neatly typewritten. – Earl Wilson
I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctors office was full of portraits by Picasso. – Rita Rudner
My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldnt pay the bill he gave me six months more. – Walter Matthau
When I told my doctor I couldnt afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays. – Henny Youngman
I was always shocked when I went to the doctors office and they did my X-ray and didnt find that I had eight more ribs than I should have or that my blood was the color green. – Nicolas Cage
Im 86 and my doctor used to tell me to slow down – at least he did until he dropped dead. – Cesar Romero
The physicians highest calling, his only calling, is to make sick people healthy – to heal, as it is termed. – Samuel Hahnemann
Im strongly for a patient Bill of Rights. Decisions ought to be made by doctors, not accountants. – Charles Schumer
Mammograms are really sort of a gift. You can either catch something early or count your lucky stars because nothing was discovered. Either way, youre ahead of the game. – Charlotte Ross
In the sick room, ten cents worth of human understanding equals ten dollars worth of medical science. – Martin H. Fischer
Doctors coin money when they do procedures but family medicine doesnt have any procedures. – David Jones
The Christians Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. – Mark Twain
If youre so pro-life, do me a favour: dont lock arms and block medical clinics. If youre so pro-life, lock arms and block cemeteries. – Bill Hicks
The rich mans dog gets more in the way of vaccination, medicine and medical care than do the workers upon whom the rich mans wealth is built. – Samora Machel
Information on how to heal autism and how to possibly delay vaccines or prevent autism shouldnt come from me. It should come from the medical establishment. – Jenny McCarthy
I have been recently diagnosed with Sjogrens Syndrome, an autoimmune disease which is an ongoing medical condition that affects my energy level and causes fatigue and joint pain. – Venus Williams
Civil and political rights are critical, but not often the real problem for the destitute sick. My patients in Haiti can now vote but they cant get medical care or clean water. – Paul Farmer
But I contend that if were providing total medical coverage for every man, woman, and child in Iraq, shouldnt we at least be doing the same thing for every man, woman, and child in the United States? – Tony Campolo
I first wanted to be a psychiatrist. I decided against that in medical school when I discovered that psychiatrists didnt, in reality, do what they did on TV. – Benjamin Carson
My parents and grandparents have always been engaged in teaching or the medical profession or the priesthood, so Ive sort of grown up with a sense of complicity in the lives of other people, so theres no virtue in that its the way one is raised. – Colin Firth
